Pumpkin Spice Latte or PSL as Starbucks calls it, is the holy grail of lattes. Oh what? You think I’m a basic bitch? Allow me to explain, 3 glasses of wine deep, why a Pumpkin Spice Latte makes you a King.
So you fancy yourself a coffee drinker? Perhaps you’ve been to Colombia, tried the fine brews of the region, or you’ve ventured to Addis Ababa in Ethiopia? Well the truth is, you really don’t know shit about coffee until you’ve had a Pumpkin Spice Latte.
Fall is a time where leaves fall off trees, the weather cools down (unless you live here in California), and love is so prevalent, you can taste the saliva in other people’s mouths. This is also a time when you start seeing ads for everything pumpkin related: pumpkin beer, pumpkin pie, pumpkin burgers, pumpkin patches, and the Pumpkin Spice Latte. So why is there so much backlash about ordering one?
I went into Starbucks the other day and ordered myself a PSL. When I did, the male Barista looked at me confused like, “Ey, yo dawg, you wanna be ordering that basic shit?” YES I DO, because it’s great! I don’t care if the girl with Ugg boots and a denim skirt in front of me ordered it, I enjoy the taste of pumpkin during fall. Get off me.
Live, Laugh, Love
Ladies and gentleman everywhere, it’s time to show America that we don’t care what they think. Stand up for your rights (or something). Normcore is basically as basic as it gets. A bunch of post-hipsters dressing to be what is considered “normal,” calling people basic. As far as I’m concerned, Normcore people coined the term basic in order to get the heat off them. Yeah, get mad. You Normcore people know it’s true. Sure, do I think overly marketed sayings, like, “Friends Forever” or “Wine Goes Good With Everything” are lame? Yes I do, but it has nothing to do with my love for the taste of pumpkin coffee.
Be You, Be True
Basic is dead and Pumpkin Spice Lattes are the gate into this post-basic heaven. Forget those Normcore hipsters, because they don’t matter either, all that matters is that the sweet taste of Pumpkin Spice drips all over your taste buds. If it were possible to bathe in the stuff, I would, and that’s real talk. Keep it spicey y’all.