Should Boyz Shave Their Pitssss & Other Hard-Hitting ?'s

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Okay, bagels and thumbs up to you, my friend, here are some hard-hitting hipster topics answered for you in under 10 seconds:

 

1. Should a modern hipster gentleman with a beard shave his pits?

Answer: Shudafuqup.

Protip: Trim that shit

 

2. My pussy smells like peanut butter goulash + the back alleyway of a bar in the morning, how do I fix this?

Answer: No more dubstep 4 u.

Protip: Stop eating industry-inspired shit.

 

3. People keep making fun of me 4 saving stray cats, but I love mah katz, they’re so cute~

Answer: Your cats are adorable, but lets not b friendz.

Protip: Toxoplasmosis has been seen as making bitches crazy and fuckers emo. Also your place smells. Trust.

 

4.  I only get $900 a week from my dad to spend on drugs & beer, what genre should I fully invest in to improve my personal image?

Answer: Become a sandwich. You’re already a Top Baguette n e wayz.

Protip: Donate to a real charity that actually helps people.

 

 

5. Hey Kenny Lims, Trendy or Ethnic:

  • Africa printz

Answer: I’ll kill you.

  • Uncircumsized peens

Answer:  Even dick skin sags son.

  • Rastafarian

Answer: Ethnic, everyone else, you’ll never make it.

  • Rapper attire (urban wear)

Answer:  This is too many questions

 

Have hard-hitting questions or a hipster lifestyle topic that’s keeping you up @ night cause your life is all about whining? Ask Kenny Lims yer questions via CAFE URBRU.

 

 

CHICAGO, IL - OCTOBER 12:  Jars of peanut butt...

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