Okay, bagels and thumbs up to you, my friend, here are some hard-hitting hipster topics answered for you in under 10 seconds:
1. Should a modern hipster gentleman with a beard shave his pits?
Protip: Trim that shit
2. My pussy smells like peanut butter goulash + the back alleyway of a bar in the morning, how do I fix this?
Answer: No more dubstep 4 u.
Protip: Stop eating industry-inspired shit.
3. People keep making fun of me 4 saving stray cats, but I love mah katz, they’re so cute~
Answer: Your cats are adorable, but lets not b friendz.
Protip: Toxoplasmosis has been seen as making bitches crazy and fuckers emo. Also your place smells. Trust.
4. I only get $900 a week from my dad to spend on drugs & beer, what genre should I fully invest in to improve my personal image?
Answer: Become a sandwich. You’re already a Top Baguette n e wayz.
Protip: Donate to a real charity that actually helps people.
5. Hey Kenny Lims, Trendy or Ethnic:
- Africa printz
Answer: I’ll kill you.
- Uncircumsized peens
Answer: Even dick skin sags son.
Answer: Ethnic, everyone else, you’ll never make it.
- Rapper attire (urban wear)
Answer: This is too many questions
Have hard-hitting questions or a hipster lifestyle topic that’s keeping you up @ night cause your life is all about whining? Ask Kenny Lims yer questions via CAFE URBRU.